One thing I've finally discovered: the things that bug me about Taylor are the things that remind me of myself. For example, she'll never be happy with what she has. I can remember few times when I was actually fully satisfied.
Now I wonder if that feeling of complete content was a result of a lie, so I'm struggling to believe that there are really people out there that make each other completely happy. I'm really trying hard to believe that there's even one person out there who will make me happy just by being them whom will be satisfied with all that I am. My plan is to increase my self-esteem so that my belief that I'm not attractive enough to find true love and I don't have the wonderful personality to make up for it will become more hidden. (I don't think that it will ever go away. It's pretty much always been there.) I need to keep hoping that someday I'll feel a feeling stronger than what I felt for Trevor and that feeling will be reciprocated because waiting for my life to be worth living just doesn't cut it.
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