We Still Don't Know What It Takes to Make It

Okay, here's the blog that is actually meant for today.

"I Don't Think I Love You" by Hoobastank gives me major flashbacks. It relates to my life so much it kinda scares me.

"I wonder what you'll take from me today
Sanity or just my breath away
It's hard to say
Impossible for me to tell
We're always walking on eggshells
Who you're going to be from day to day today"

That is how I felt when I could never tell whether I was still in love with Trevor or I hated him for what he did. It was the first time I actually understood why people say that love and hate are closely related.

"I wish that we could go back
To what we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore"

This, I'm sure, is how Trevor felt.

"Wonder why it is that you don't see
What you've changed since we first met
And how much that it's killing me"

This is how I felt when I was talking to Trevor about how much I've changed since this time last year. He said that he hadn't changed since 9th or 10th grade. I was shocked that he could say that, honestly. I can see clear as day how he's changed since we got together; let alone before we were together.

"I know that I will always miss
The butterflies of our first kiss"

That lyric makes me taken aback. The combination of remembering what it was like to kiss Trevor for the first time and the feeling that someone else could put words to how I felt looking back makes me light headed.

"It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore

I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I never thought that it will come to this
I know we'll never get back
To how we were before
Cuz I know that I don't love you anymore

It's too hard to keep pretending
It's too hard to ignore
But I know that I don't love you anymore, anymore"

Once again, Trevor's feelings about leaving me.


"What Happened To Us?" by Hoobastank is also my new theme song. Hoobastank just gets me, I guess. Wow, that's a really bad sign...