Went Full Circle 'Til I'm Nauseous

So, it's the 14th. Today brings me into a land of memories and daydreaming. That sounds happy or fun, right? Wrong. I always end up saying to myself something like "It's not fair" or "He's being rewarded for breaking my heart." I'm so sick and tired of being upset. I really hope it gets better.
I think today is just gonna be another day. He hasn't mentioned today and I can't bring it up. I just can't. For all I know, he doesn't even realize what today is because he's got Taylor and Liz penetrating his mind.
I thought today was gonna be the day that I could finally cry. I thought that today I could finally breakdown and get all this out and it would all stop, but I can't let myself cry. I don't want to make Trevor feel guilty for anything. It doesn't make anything better. For now, I'm listening to music that has always reminded me of him. That's how I'll "celebrate" the occasion.
The first example I'll bring up goes back to before we were even dating: "Geeks Get the Girls" by American Hi-fi. He's such a geek, but that was appealing to Liz and I. It was half the reason we were Trevor fangirls. I wanted to be the girl that he got, plain and simple. I always said "He's got that 'Geeks get the girls' effect.", even when he was around, an entirely not subtle way of flirting. (Hey, I'm a flirt and I liked him so much that I was borderline creepy lol) The best part was that he knew the song and he didn't criticize me for saying that, so it was like our thing. (Wow, over time, we had a lot of Molly and Trevor "things". Haha railroad...)

The second was also before we were dating: "Girl All The Bad Guys Want" by Bowling For Soup. He introduced me to the song and I always felt like the girl. I know, I'm not that badass, but... I always thought of Trevor as singing the song. I know it's conceited, but I always thought that I was this bad influenced that pretended like I didn't want him and he was all fanboyish. (The other Bowling For Soup songs remind me of him, but that's because it's his favorite band and I didn't really listen to them until him)

Next, I'm not sure when Trevor introduced me to "16 Military Wives" by The Decembrists. It was sometime last fall. It reminds me of his strong political side. I found his resentment for government attractive. (Maybe I have issues I need to work out, but that's true)

Fourth is "I'll Cover You" from Rent. Once he watched Rent, he was obsessed with that song. It was the ring tone on his old phone until it died. (I remember missing it when he got his current phone =[) It always made me think romantic things, though I never talked to Trevor about the mushy thoughts about us that crossed my mind. Also, in August, we were in my kitchen soon before he was going back home and we were listening to his new iPod Touch. That song came on and we did a little mushy couple duet thing. (Nowadays I wonder if that even meant anything, but, at the time, it was uber sweet)

The last one that I can think of (though I'm sure they're more when I hear them) is "Hanging By A Moment" by Lifehouse. The Sunday after Easter, Trevor was over to celebrate Easter with my family. At one point we ended up just hanging out in my room. When "Hanging By A Moment" came on, he sang and looked at me like he was singing to me. He'd never really do that to me and it made me swoon inside. I sang back and it was all just so cute.